4 Ways to Grow Your Confidence
One thing I’m asked over and over is “Vivian....how did you get to be so confident?” Believe it or not, I wasn’t always like this. I mean, I’ve always been a little off-kilter. I've always had the spark. But there was always someone or a situation that would try to dim my light. Eventually, I got tired of dimming my light and decided to start unapologetically shining.
Are you where I was and want to stop second-guessing yourself, stop being scared and be able to do all the big things that matter to you? I want to help you do that with 4 ways to ignite that spark and grow your confidence so you can achieve the BIG things in your life.
Stop thinking you can’t be confident
The first way to ignite that spark and grow your confidence is to stop thinking that you can’t be confident. Confidence is something everyone can have. It doesn’t matter what your background, circumstances or even temperament are. Confidence is defined as being certain of your abilities.
In order to gain abilities and increase confidence, you need to try new things and find your magic. You need to do stuff you’ve never done before. In my opinion, the best time to build confidence is when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Do it, mess it up, fail, do it all wrong. Getting it right or wrong will build your confidence.
The biggest misconception is that you’re born with confidence. Not true. Confidence is a muscle that no one can build for you. It is a quality that you have to work on so stop thinking that you can’t do it.
Take the time to help others
Another way to grow your confidence is to help someone. You know those abilities that you think aren’t anything special? To someone else, they are a big deal.
For years. I told myself that what I knew about business and being an entrepreneur didn’t matter to anyone because I thought what was doing wasn’t special. Can you imagine?
Instead of focusing on yourself and the things you think you can’t do, focus on what you can do and use that to help others. Do not underestimate the power of helping others without expecting anything in return. I guarantee it will help build that confidence muscle.
And when you’re done helping that person, they will say thank you. Take the good energy from that thank you and use it to fill your confidence bank. Then you’re going to go to that bank and celebrate that win.
Celebrate every win, big or small
Next, in order to gain confidence, you’ll need to start celebrating all your wins. Big and Small.
You’re going to celebrate the fact that you took your ability, (that you didn’t think you had or wasn’t anything special) and helped to make someone’s life that much better. Stop minimizing your accomplishments and celebrate every damn thing.
Ask for what you want
Build your confidence by asking for what you want, and get comfortable doing that on a regular basis! Here are 4 quick tips on asking for what you want:
Make sure it’s reasonable. I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Don’t give multiple reasons why you need it. All you need is one.
Be nice about it. Don’t be a Karen.
You are worth the ask. Period.
The worst that can happen when you ask is that the answer is no, or not in this moment. You don’t have to look at no as a bad thing. Sometimes, it can be a good no. And the best thing that can happen… the answer is YES! Either way, asking for what you want or need will help you build that confidence muscle and ignite that spark of magic within you.
After doing these confidence-building exercises, I ignited my own spark. The more I showed up for myself and others, the brighter my light started to shine. So now, not only am I motivated to shine for myself, I shine so you can see that it’s ok to shine too.
And please remember, you don’t have to shine like me. The sun, moon, stars, flames, diamonds, fireflies, lightbulbs all shine in their own way. I want you to shine like you!